At this time of year there are lists and lists of the scariest horror movies of all time. I like to peruse these lists looking for new gems or reminders of something I may have forgotten. Often, though, I find some films that make me think "Really?" So, since I've already listed my personal favorites, I now must list those horror films that others found incredible but I find just an incredible waste of time.1. The Shining-This had to be the most boring horror film I have ever seen. I had huge expectations after reading the novel and could not wait to see it. So, I sat there with my friend Sandy and my brother Frankie and his then wife Lupe in shivery anticipation. Even had my big bucket of popcorn. Good thing too because this movie seemed really long. Well, I waited and waited to be scared. Never happened. I was impressed with the look of the Overlook hotel because it did fit the description of the novel and the visuals, in general, were pretty good. Unfortunately, that was the only good part. Jack Nicholson overacted beyond belief. What can be said about Shelley Duvall? That the role of her lifetime was Olive Oyl in Popeye? No wonder Nicholson overacted. He had to act for two. And Danny Lloyd and that whole finger "Redrum" thing. Talk about eye rolling.
Now, to be fair, I had to abandon the idea that this was the same story told in Stephen King's book and let it stand on it's own. But, for me, it couldn't. There was some suspenseful music that would lead up to...nothing. And I got the whole Jack Torrance slipping into madness due to the isolation of the hotel, and the ghosts goading him on. But I thought he would have been driven crazy long ago living with Shelley Duvall's Wendy Torrance. She was one scary visual.It does pick up toward the end, but by then I had long given up caring. When Nicholson yells, "Wendy, I'm home!" That's where I was wishing I was.2. The Blair Witch Project-Major disappointment for me again. Maybe it was just one of those cases of too much hype. There was no reasonable way this was going to meet expectations. But, boy, this one did not even come close! Maybe it was the weather. It was a beautiful afternoon in June when I saw it. Maybe it would have played better in the fall. Maybe not. In any event, I thought this movie was really awful. Not even one little shiver. I was very nauseous at the end though. For me, in order for a horror movie to be truly effective I have to care a little bit for the characters. I hated these characters. They were obnoxious. I would have loved to drive them out to the woods and leave them there myself. It was one of those movies where I really did want to yell at the screen, "You should have thought of that before stupid." Luckily I found I was not the only one who this film failed. It was the last movie I was at where members of the audience booed. When the lights started to come on someone in the audience said "Is that it?" and then came the boos. Luckily I had something better to look forward to when the movie was over. I went home and painted my daugter's bedroom.
3. Paranormal Activity-Not much to say about this. Watched it on video. It scared my wife a bit. The best thing that came out of this movie for me was the spoof Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin performed on the Academy Awards.
4.
Friday the 13th-I think this is a horror movie but it kind of plays like a comedy. It works better as a comedy. Originally I was afraid to watch it. I thought I might be too scared. Great promotion of this film. Unfortunately the fear of seeing it far outweighed any fear I had while watching it. No good scares, no suspense, no acting. And a terrible Carrie rip-off ending. Of course the whole thing seemed to me to be a Halloween rip off. I did see it at the drive-in but this is the kind of movie that calls for a drive-in viewing. In any event, I think I may have seen part 2 when there was nothing better at the drive-in one year and the rest I may have caught pieces of on cable tv. It's always good for a laugh.5. The Silence of the Lambs-This one totally surprised me. I thought it was okay. Not really a horror movie. Decent but nothing special. Then came all the acclaim, all the Oscars, all the lists naming it a top horror movie. What!? I still check it out from time to time. However, to me, nothing special. I do love the ending though. It's pretty (intentionally) funny. The rest was kind of predictable. The jump editing between the FBI agents arriving at Buffalo Bill's with Agent Starling arriving to interview another woman. If this was meant to surprise, it didn't work The whole over the top sequence involving Lecter's escape. Gross, but not scary. But, it is a decent movie. Just, again to me, an overrated horror movie.
There are other movies, The Ring for example, that I hated but they were so inconsequential to me that I don't remember enough about them to post anything.
There you have it. My 5 most overrated horror movies. Drop me a comment and let me know what some of your overrated horror movies are!
Roger
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